Attempted Shopping

Where did the week go? It's a little frightening how time can slip by. But I'm not here to get philosophical. Let's talk about shopping.

Or more accurately, attempting to shop. The nice weather on Friday put me in the mood to look for some new clothes, and I had some time I needed to kill anyway. I have a Macy's gift card I received for Christmas, so I started there. Normally gift cards are like having a hot coal in my pocket--I have to get rid of them immediately--but I've been trying to use this one for nearly three months. Every time I went to Macy's, I was sure I would find the perfect thing, and every time I came away empty-handed. One time I actually did find a shirt I liked, but it turned out to be cut too snugly for my middle-aged frame (more reverse size creep) and I couldn't find it in a larger size.

On this most recent visit, there were several clearance racks filled with Polo stuff, which I tend to like as long as it doesn't have the horse on it. So I pawed through those, elbowing aside the occasional dazed tourist, and I did find a couple of things I liked, but after wasting several minutes locating a working price-scanning machine, the discounts weren't as good as I'd hoped they'd be, or thought they should be after hanging around the store this long. (Tip: never trust the signs on the racks; always check at a scanner or cashier, because often the item has been marked down even lower than the price that's on the tag.)

This got me to thinking: why is Macy's men's department so boring? The women's departments seem to offer a range of style options, but not so the men's. I'm long past the age when anything in the "young men's" section has any appeal for me, what with all those giant logos and supersized or superslim styles. The regular men's area is just stuffed to the ceiling with the most staid, bland clothes on earth. The only real shot of color to be found is in the annual spring batch of polo shirts (as opposed to Polo shirts, which tend to be too colorful year-round), the Hawaiian-style printed shirt trend has persisted far longer than it has any right to, and how many pairs of khaki cargo shorts can one guy own?

Come to think of it, I'm not even ready to be thinking about summer clothes. I was looking for something I could wear in the spring, but that stuff seems to be gone already, not that there was really anything of interest to me in the first place. But it still leaves my question: why is Macy's so boring? And I don't mean to single them out; it's not just them, but really all big stores.

Here's what I think: the majority of guys don't really care what they wear, as long as it doesn't cause them embarrassment, which means plain and safe (think of the typical army of guys clad in the business-casual uniform of blue shirts and khaki pants, zzz...). And a lot of men's clothing choices are actually made by their wives or girlfriends, who aren't going to risk choosing something their men will reject as being "too fashiony" (except the ones who naively consider their partners a work in progress and think they can change them). So the stores continue to offer the plainest and safest choices, so sales will remain consistent.

So where does that leave me? Seeking out other options, as usual. Not that I consider myself fashion-forward. I read and enjoy GQ, but most of the casual clothing looks ridiculous (dress clothing is a different story that I'll tackle at some future point). I prefer stuff that is timeless but still looks like some thought was put into it. This is getting harder to find. It's like music; everything is so splintered into styles and subgenres that the only thing left in the mainstream is boring beyond belief (John Mayer, I'm looking at you...). If I had the means, I'd attempt to start my own clothing line, if only to give myself something to wear. But I guess I'll just keep looking. Somebody must want my money.