Wrinkle-Free

Recently I happened to be looking through an issue of Details magazine. I don't normally read Details, as it's aimed primarily at guys in their 20s, which I haven't been for a long time now. But I was waiting for the Mrs. and the magazine happened to be there, so I flipped through it.

Details is full of contradictions. On the one hand, it aims to give guys advice on post-college living and becoming more grown up, but on the other hand, it tells them things like it's okay to just wear your khakis wrinkled. I suppose it depends on where you're wearing them. I try not to iron on weekends if I can help it, but sometimes it's necessary.

The wrinkled look has been popular for a while, though I'm still not sure if it's going to run its course or become part of the zeitgeist. I can recall seeing instructions a few years ago, either on the Polo or J. Crew web site, for how to get your shirts to have a just-so wrinkled look. The basic idea was--and I swear I am not making this up--to take your wet shirt out of the washing machine and tie it in a knot, then put it into the dryer. Now you don't even have to work that hard; some clothes come pre-crinkled.

I have to take issue with this attitude. I'm not looking to portray myself as some avuncular advice-giver, but this is just stupid. I have no love for ironing, but I prefer to present a persona to the world that does not look like it slept in its clothes. If you're doing construction or working at a used CD store, you can wear pretty much whatever you feel like. But if you have any kind of "real" job, or hope to get one some day, you need to project a certain degree of respectability, regardless of how indolent you really are. You have to be able to fake it; that's what it really means to be a grown-up.

Other than early-morning dog-walking, when I leave the house I ask myself: if I witness an accident or something and end up being interviewed on TV, would I be embarrassed by my appearance? Would my mother be embarrassed on my behalf? Think about it. Why does it seem like the eyewitness who gets interviewed on camera is always the person wearing a dirty T-shirt with the sleeves cut off?

If you fold your pants flat when they come out of the dryer and then stack them flat instead of hanging them, some of the wrinkling works out on its own. And how long does it take to iron pants anyway? About five minutes, if that. Or you could go ahead and try the wrinkle-free kind, if you must. Personally I can't stand the feel of whatever fun chemical compounds they're using to treat the fabric. It feels like I'm wearing laminated pants.

Shirts take longer to iron, yes. Lots of oddly-shaped weird bits. You could try having your shirts done at a cleaners (or "cleansers" as it's often called around here, for whatever reason), but this is expensive, and you risk damage, loss, and the dreaded "shiny shirt syndrome." If your shirts are all white or light-colored this is less of an issue, but if you like darker colors, you risk looking like your shirt has been laminated, too.

I've been told fabric softener is the answer, but I've never tried it. No particular reason, just never have. It was never used in our house when I was growing up, so I never learned to use it in my own laundry. Environmentally, it's probably a toss-up between the added chemicals in the wash water vs. the electricity needed to run the iron. But if you think like that too much, your head will start to hurt. I suppose I should try using fabric softener, in the name of research, to see if it makes any noticeable difference in my clothes.

The other suggestion that I think has merit comes from GQ's Style Guy, Glenn O'Brien, a man of considerable knowledge and taste. He suggests using a hand steamer because "life is too short" to iron. This is something else I may need to pursue. Do any of you esteemed readers use a steamer? Fabric softener? Other hints, tips, suggestions?