Word Salad: What Do You Call It?

Okay, two weeks is a long time to be absent from here, and I apologize. I admit that I've been devoting most of my free time (what there is of it) to catching up on some of the backlog of TV shows on my TiVo.

Anyway, at work we had a listing for a multi-function pocket knife, and the description of its various tools and features was a little garbled. "... knife, saw, double jagged, scissors, bottle opener, can opener, the screwdriver, file, the threading, scissors, red wine drill." The last one is my favorite—it can only be used for red wine?

Forms of Communication

As I have mentioned previously, my longtime friend Just Bud Fox is on tumblr, but I'm not. I don't fully understand how tumblr users communicate with each other, but they often "quote" each other's posts in order to reply to or comment on them publicly.

In response to another user's comment, "Remember the ‘90s, when getting email was fun?" JBF responded:

Come grow old with me? Some Assembly Required and I have been friends since 1985. Of that time, we lived in the same place for less than two years in the aggregate. We used to write big long letters and have periodic two hour phone calls. Then email took over. More contacts. Less content. Lately, we mostly text. We are aging through technology together. Gracefully, I hope.

I hope so, too. It feels a little weird to have known someone for that long, but also gratifying.

Word Salad: That's Not What You Meant

A listing for cell phones contained this nugget: "Photos shows condition of the photos." We assumed they meant to say "phones," and we also corrected the agreement problem.

Word Salad: Not to Scale

My job continues to provide moments of amusement from the material that I'm checking. We had a listing with the title Assorted Rugs, 7" x 10". No one noticed it before it got to me. The first thing I thought was that they might be for dollhouses, but the dimensions and weight of the shipping pallet did away with that idea pretty quickly. I suppose a Spinal Tap reference would be appropriate, though.

Word Salad: Rough Guess

From the description of a bra assortment: "Note: The size tag on the bra may be wrong. You might have to figure it for yourself." (The second sentence was deleted before the listing went live.)

Word Salad: So Close...

My current job involves proofreading for an e-commerce website. The product listings are prepared by the sellers, which occasionally results in some awkwardly formed constructions. Some of them are (unintentionally) amusing so I've decided to share periodically, starting with this one:

"Please note that the flat rate shipping cost is only for the 48 continuous states."

Phone Quest '15

It's that time of year... when my thoughts wander to the idea of getting a new iPhone. Actually it's been an every-other-year thing, since that's what my provider and plan allowed, but I got my 5S almost two years ago. I thought my upgrade eligibility date was at the beginning of December, but that was my contract date; a few days ago I was in my phone account online and saw that I had hit my eligibility date for a new phone.

I had also considered switching to T-Mobile, because I like the way they have been pushing the mobile industry to adopt policies that are more consumer-friendly. One of these (that so far I don't think other carriers have embraced) is that music streaming does not count toward your monthly data usage. T-Mobile is also offering the new iPhone 6S for $10/month if you trade in an iPhone 5S (or just $5/month with trade-in of last year's iPhone 6) and join their payment plan/annual upgrade option. But the Mrs. has been disinclined toward getting a smartphone of any kind for a long while, and T-Mobile has only smartphones these days (and one flip-style phone), so I did not think switching would work for us.

I'm sure a lot of you know that all the big mobile carriers, spurred by T-Mobile, have been moving away from phone subsidies (how we used to get new phones, with an upfront payment) and into a somewhat more transparent approach, separating the cost of the phone from the cost of the plan. This means that more of us will be getting our phones via monthly payment options. One advantage to this method is that there is usually an option to upgrade after a certain period of time and a certain number of payments have been made, i.e. annual upgrades instead of every two years.

I read an article in last week's Personal Technology section of the New York Times comparing the payment plans of all four major phone carriers, as well as to the costs of paying full price for a new phone up front. That's what led me to look at my account online. I also learned that customers who opt into Verizon's payment-plan program get a discount on the service portion of their plan, so on a monthly basis I would be paying roughly the same amount, plus I'll be able to trade in and get the iPhone 7 when it arrives next fall. The initial cost amounts to the sales tax on the full price of the phone. (Note: even if you're a Verizon customer, your plan may be different.)

When I upgraded two years ago I was able to order the phone to pick up in one of Verizon's stores. This time that option was not offered, so it shipped to me via FedEx. Delivery was Wednesday, so I made a point of staying home because I knew I would have to sign for the package. Of course the dog still needs to go out, every couple of hours these days, and of course I missed the delivery because I was out with the dog. But the tag left by the driver indicated that I could pick up my package after 6 pm that evening at a FedEx facility in South Boston.

And of course it was raining quite hard Wednesday, but that didn't deter me. I figured out where I needed to go, way down Summer Street past the convention center and the cruise ship terminal and across the Reserved Channel. Fortunately the 7 bus passes right by, and it's a short walk from the Downtown Crossing T station to where the 7 boards on Otis St. The bus was packed, and the windows were all fogged up so I couldn't see out, but I could tell more or less where we were and managed to squeeze my way out of the bus at the correct stop.

Once I got to the FedEx facility, it took less than three minutes to get my package. If you ever need to go down there, there's plenty of parking, the people working there are pleasant, and it's open until 9 pm on weeknights. If it hadn't been pouring it would have been a piece of cake, just another errand.

An Atypical Appellation

Today at the office, the regular front-desk person was out, and there was a fill-in person that I had not seen or met before. She was about half my age, but when I spoke to her about something, she responded and ended her sentence with "hon." I was a little surprised; after all, it is 2015, and "hon" is the sort of thing you expect to hear spoken by a sixtyish diner waitress in a 1970s movie. But it was also charming in its own way, a note of familiarity used as a way to make people feel like their requests are being heard, to put them at ease.

Overheard: Groovy Okay Edition

I was waiting for the Orange Line at Downtown Crossing, where the northbound and southbound platforms have separate entrances, and it can be confusing to know which direction is correct if you're unfamiliar with the area. A woman passed through the fare gate, and I happened to be standing just beyond it, so she asked me "Is this for... OK Groove?"

She had an accent, and after a moment I realized that she was referring to Oak Grove and assured her that she was in the correct place.

It's Alive!

I visited the Apple store this morning, and one of the Geniuses was able to revive my iPhone. I don't know exactly what happened, and even if I'd asked I'm not sure he would have been able to tell me. The important thing is he was able to get it into restore mode and get it working, then restore my data and such from the cloud.

Since I hadn't backed up to iCloud in a while I lost some photos, but otherwise everything is back the way it was. The tech mentioned that if I use wi-fi at home (something I don't tend to do, as I'm not a big data user in general), the phone will back up automatically whenever I plug it in to charge, so that's going to be part of my regular routine now.

It's Dead, Jim

Well, shit. My iPhone's dead.

I noticed it around 6:30 this evening when I went to check the time on my phone (unusual, but I had been doing dishes and food prep in the kitchen and wasn't wearing a watch). Pushed the button, got no response. Pushed the other button, nothing. Held the button down, uh-oh.

I went to Apple's support site and got into a chat with a service rep, who walked me through some steps that might have gotten it going again (pro tip: holding down both the power and home buttons is the iPhone's version of a forced restart). That ended up getting it stuck in a loop, so I was told to connect it to iTunes for a memory wipe (I had backed up through iCloud) but that didn't work either.

Since I've had the phone only two months, it's still covered under the warranty, so I have an appointment at the Apple store later this morning to get a new one. The last thing I did earlier in the afternoon was update two apps, but I can only remember one of them (GasBuddy). One of the apps may have been the culprit, or it could have been something else. I'll probably never know for sure.

New Phone, New Case

I ended up getting a new iPhone last week. I wasn't planning on upgrading until I had a more consistent source of income, but a visit to the Verizon website indicated that the trade-in value of my 4S was equivalent to the upfront cost of a new 5S, excluding the tax. So I ordered it up and it arrived in a couple of days.

Right after that came the padded envelope to submit my old phone for its trade-in assessment. Off it went the same day (it's nice when our mail gets delivered early enough in the day to accomplish things like that), and yesterday I got an email confirming the appraised value, which I will receive in the form of a Verizon Wireless gift card, which I can apply to my balance.

I knew that when I eventually upgraded my phone I would need to get a new case, because the 5S, like the 5 before it, is taller and slimmer than my 4S. As much as I liked my book-style case from Pad & Quill, I had decided that I didn't want another of the same thing, but I still wanted to be able to remove the phone from its case fairly quickly and easily, mainly because I'm so much in the habit of doing so.

Bumpers and molded cases are meant to stay on the phone all the time, so I knew I didn't want to go in that direction. I had bookmarked a few styles that I had seen and liked, so I started going back and evaluating them more carefully. Twelve South, the makers of the BookBook case, also have a very minimal leather cover that adheres to the phone but can be removed, and also folds back to make a stand so you can watch videos without having to hold the phone. At first I thought I was going to get this, but I realized that it would probably end up annoying me.

Ultimately I decided on a vertical sleeve style, with an opening at the top that the phone slips into. Many of the cases I saw of this type also have an opening on the bottom for connecting the charging cable, but I always remove my phone from its case to charge it in a desktop dock so I did not want or need this feature. Many cases of this type also have a pocket on the outside, or sometimes more than one. I understand the utility of this, but I didn't want that either.

After some more pondering and google searching, I chose a case I had bookmarked some time ago, from a Texas company called Castello DaVarg. They craft all their products in the US, and use only leather from US tanneries. My case arrived yesterday, and their commitment to craftsmanship and quality is evident in the finished product.

My only real objection is that they deliberately choose not to offer their products in black. The color I chose, a dark tan that features orange stitching, is quite lovely, but I would have liked the option of a black case, if for no other reason than my iPhone is black and I prefer things to be coordinated when possible.

Phone Not Found

I'd love to replace my iPhone with one of the new models, but I'm trying not to spend money on anything that isn't a necessity. The high demand for the iPhone 5S has helped, in a weird way, because there aren't any available in Apple stores.

I was going to mention a website that I've been checking that compiles availability information from Apple, but the site's owner just posted today that he's received a cease-and-desist letter from Apple and has decided to comply, so never mind that. Meanwhile, my 4S is working fine and will keep me going until I'm employed again.

A Customer Service Dialogue

A couple of days after my home try-on frames arrived from Steven Alan Optical, I got an email from one of their customer service people asking me for my opinions and feedback. I wasn't expecting any sort of communication from them, so I took advantage of the opportunity and responded, sharing my thoughts on the frames and the try-on process.

I also mentioned my futile attempt to get sunglasses from Warby Parker a couple of months back, and subsequently learned that Steven Alan Optical would be able to make lenses for my prescription. I wasn't really planning to buy new glasses just yet, but since not all of their frames are available as sunglasses, I decided to ask if they could accommodate a special order.

Unfortunately that wasn't possible, at least not yet, and I also learned that, while they can make me sunglasses, they would not be able to make them with polarized lenses, which is another disappointment. But things change, and they will likely be coming out with additional styles in the fall, which might include offering more frame styles as sunglasses.

The opportunity to have a direct conversation with a rep was extremely helpful in my situation. I'm sure that I would have gotten satisfactory answers to my questions had I initiated a conversation via email, but the fact that they made the effort to contact me and say, "hey, how's it going?" elevated them in my estimation.

Uglified

I updated my iPhone to the latest operating system last week. I don't really have any opinion one way or the other about the Maps app, except that when using the traffic overlay it only shows problem areas, whereas Google's map showed traffic flow as green, yellow, or red, which is easier to take in at a glance. On the other hand, the new map app does seem to scroll and zoom in and out much faster, which is frequently more important when trying to obtain information in a moving vehicle.

But Apple has made other changes that you might not notice immediately. I don't make a lot of phone calls these days, so it wasn't until a few days later that I went into the phone function and found that Apple had made a significant change to the appearance of the dial pad. The number pad has been reversed from white digits on black keys to black digits on white keys. Not only is this ugly, it's also harder for me to read. There just isn't as much contrast.

Obviously this isn't anything crucial, but I haven't seen it mentioned in any reviews of iOS 6. This might be one of those things that you can change if you are willing to "jailbreak" your phone, but I don't feel confident enough to undertake such an endeavor.

Still Not on Facebook

I ran across this interesting piece on BuzzFeed about what it means not to be on facebook. Apparently mass murderers tend not to have established presences on social media (because, duh, loners don't have any friends), and in turn I guess some people are worried about the mental health of those of us who aren't on facebook. Well, two things come to mind:

One, I think it's safe to claim by this point that pretty much everyone who wants to be on facebook is on there, unless they're kids who aren't old enough yet. Mass murderers aside, folks like me who aren't on there are choosing not to be, for one of two reasons: we feel it has nothing to offer us; we are uncomfortable with the way the site is run with regard to advertising and privacy; or, in my case, both of the above.

Two, I blog here pretty much every day, so you readers would have some inkling if it seemed like I was heading off the deep end. There would be clues, warning signs, causes for concern. (Obsessions with things like clothes and watches don't count, obviously.)

That Would Be Me

There's an interesting article in the business section of today's New York Times about people who don't use facebook. By the numbers, roughly one-third of Americans decline to participate in the social network, for various reasons. Here are a few of mine:

• I don't care for the way they've conducted themselves as a corporate entity, with all the bullshit about privacy settings, and if you step back from the "connect with your friends" aspect, the real reason facebook exists is as a marketing tool, so right there I'm out. I don't like the idea that I would have to "like" some company's facebook page in order to enter a contest.
• I'm not interested in reconnecting with people I went to high school with, and I wouldn't want those people to be able to contact me that way. Both my high school and college offer web gateways for alumni, and I'm registered on both of them, so if someone from those periods of my life really wants to get in touch with me, it's relatively easy.
• Sorry, but I don't really care what you had for breakfast, even if you are my friend.
• As for my real-world friends, I do not lack ways to communicate with them
• The design is just horrible, so bland as to be offensive, and the lack of basic functionality, like the ability to move the chat pane or pop it out as a separate window, like I can do in my Gmail account, is extremely irritating. I'm not a web designer, but I know enough about interface design to know it is not that difficult to implement such a feature. I've had facebook chats a couple of times through the Mrs.' account, and having to keep my neck bent down toward the bottom of the browser window gets uncomfortable very quickly.

The fact is, in today's connected world we no longer have privacy, but we still have some choices about who does or does not have information about us.

The one thing in the article that did bother me was the suggestion that employers and recruiters might look down on those who don't use facebook. Unless you are trying to get a job in "social media" (which I think used to be referred to as "marketing"), it shouldn't matter. In fact, I'd think that a potential employer would regard a lack of facebook use as a plus, i.e. no embarrassing photos out there, one less distraction during the work day, etc.

Customized

Right around the time I ordered my iPhone, I saw a picture on a style blog of one that had its glass back swapped out for a metal one. I liked it, thought about it for a bit, and decided to order one for myself. It looks like this:

The back is held on by two extremely tiny screws in the bottom edge. They require a special star-pointed screwdriver, which you can get for a couple of bucks on eBay (that's what I did). The back came from a place in Hong Kong, and took about a week and a half to arrive. I got a weird-looking tracking number that is actually for the US Postal Service, and for a couple of days nothing came up when I entered it, then it showed up and became trackable.

The back panel couldn't be easier to replace: undo the screws (have a plastic cap or something around that you can put them in, since they're so small they would be easily lost), slide the back up a few millimeters, and lift it off the phone. The screws are a little hard to handle when reattaching, but it only took a minute or so.

There are a couple of different styles to choose from. One has a beveled edge, and another is described as "diamond cut" which, best I've been able to discern from the pictures, means the edge is metal-finished like the back, whereas the style I chose has a black edge, so if you look at the phone from the side, it looks just like the edge of the glass back. They're also available in some different colors, if that's your thing.

I thought swapping the back would make the phone lighter, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I have not noticed any difference in phone reception or data speed.

Too Many Vowels

I'm playing Scrabble on my iPhone with an old friend who lives in Texas. It's a close game, and at the moment my rack holds six vowels, two each of three different letters. My word options are thus rather limited.

Data Blindness

My lack of foresight has come back on me.

Earlier this year, I was looking over the account info for my cell phone plan. I was paying $30 a month for data service for my smartphone, but I wasn't using all that much data. In the time since I'd gotten the phone, Verizon had added the option of paying $15 a month for a smaller data allowance.

I thought about it and, even though paying the cell phone bill was not a hardship, I figured saving that $15 a month would still be nice. I looked at my data usage patterns and saw that I had not exceeded the amount being offered at the lower price, so I made the switch. I figured if I went over, I could switch back.

I did go over my data cap (150 megabytes) in July when we went to New York, because I was using the phone's map capability a lot, plus looking up other assorted info on the web and checking traffic on the drive down. But worse, now I have an iPhone, which means I'm using data on the network a lot more, to do stuff like play Scrabble with a friend in Texas.

But there was one aspect of the data plan I did not take into account. When I had signed up for the smartphone data plan, Verizon was still offering unlimited data at that $30 a month. At some point after I'd switched to the lower amount of data, the unlimited option had gone away, but customers who still had it were grandfathered and allowed to keep it, at the same rate.

When I made the decision to downgrade my data plan, I already knew at that point that I was going to bail on that phone as soon as I was able, but I still didn't take the long view of my future wants and needs. Had I just left the plan alone, I would now have an iPhone with unlimited data access for $30 a month. Arrrrgh...

Today I checked my usage for the two-plus weeks since I got the iPhone, and I could already see that I was going to pass the cap before the end of the billing period, so I switched back to the $30/month plan, but for that I now get 2 gigabytes of data. It seems unlikely that I would exceed that, but it wouldn't have mattered—I could have streamed Spotify or Pandora 24/7 without caring about my data usage. That stings.