The High-Low, Part 2

A lot of the clothing I've bought in the past few months has come from eBay, which is kind of like a giant online thrift store or rummage sale. There are thousands of bargains just waiting to be discovered, and some of them are fixed-price listings, so you don't even have to wait around for an auction to end and worry about bidding. Some auctions also have a "make an offer" option that effectively allows you to haggle with the seller, and can lead to some unexpected deals.

This method of shopping can be time-consuming (I tend to browse during my lunch hour), but eBay gives you the tools to save specific searches, which makes it easier to keep track of new listings in categories you're interested in (for example, you can set up a search for V-neck cashmere sweaters in only certain colors or from specific brands). And many people are offering free shipping these days, or building it into their selling prices, making some items an ever better deal.

Obviously, with any online clothing purchase, sizing is crucial. Brands you already own or are familiar with are safer, certain items tend to have more consistent sizing than others, and sellers should provide thorough size info and measurements. However, lot of people just toss auction listings on eBay without putting a lot of thought or effort into them. Sometimes that's okay, but with clothing, photos and descriptions are very important, and should match. Make sure if a seller says an item is NWT (new with tags), the photos do in fact show the tags.

Look over everything carefully, and figure out what information the seller might have neglected to include. If you need to know something that's not in the description, send a polite email, ask your question as clearly as possible, and try to be considerate: don't ask a question 45 minutes before an auction ends and be upset if the seller doesn't respond to you in time. Believe it or not, not everyone has round-the-clock access to their email.

Also, in my own experience, even if the seller claims the item comes from a smoke-free, pet-free home, there's a decent chance it will arrive smelling of something, so be prepared to launder it or hang it outside for a few hours, or both. I have one shirt I bought on eBay that still smells faintly of an extremely strong laundry detergent, even after several months and numerous washes using our own fragrance-free detergent.

A few months ago I saw a red and white striped Tommy Hilfiger shirt in a store, but when I went back to look at it again it was already gone. I decided to take a quick look on eBay and found it NWT for $10. (For those of you who might not have noticed, Tommy has toned down the branding quite a bit recently, and this shirt has only a tiny embroidered flag logo on the left sleeve placket, which is unobtrusive enough for me.)

Sometimes I search for specific items, but I've also stumbled across things while not actively looking for them. Cargo shorts are kind of necessary in summer, when you don't have coat pockets but you need to carry your phone, sunglass case, and assorted other stuff (I usually carry that stuff to work with me in a messenger-style bag, but I like to give myself weekends off from carrying it). Eight or nine years back, Ralph Lauren made some really nice cargo shorts (before cargos got all crazy-looking and huge, with all the drawstrings and zippers and crap). They had plain, flat side pockets with no pleats or gussets, set-in back pockets with no flaps, and a very small, subtle label above the back pocket.

I had a pair of these that I got at the late, lamented Filene's Basement downtown store, and I loved them dearly, because they fit well and were appropriately mature-looking. But my waistline expanded and I could no longer fit into them. Last week I came across a pair of these shorts in my current size. There were four bids, but mine was the highest; I got them for $13.50, certainly less than I'd pay for a decent pair of shorts elsewhere.

Other good recent finds: cashmere sweaters for $20, two corduroy sportcoats (one was $16, the other was $10), a bright pink Ralph Lauren shirt with a pocket (always harder to find than the ones with horses) for $9, Banana Republic khakis for $8, and my favorite deal of the past six months or so, a J. Crew suede sportcoat for $22. A great deal of this stuff was worn by someone a couple of times at most, then hung in a closet for a couple of years before being put up for auction or sale.

Of course, not every purchase is a success. A few weeks ago I thought I'd lucked out when I found a listing for off-white L.L. Bean jeans in my size. Bean stopped making these a few years back, right before I started looking for them. The starting bid was only 99 cents, so I added the auction to my watch list and waited. Several days later there were still no bids. I ended up being the only bidder, so I got them for a buck plus shipping. When they arrived, they fit great but were about an inch too short, and it was my own fault because I never asked for actual measurements. Just because the seller says "the tag reads 36 x 32" doesn't mean those are the actual measurements, especially on items that are a few years old and have been through the wash a number of times.

One other thing you notice shopping on eBay is that a lot of sellers have a seriously overinflated idea of what their items are worth. This can sometimes be amusing, but more often it's annoying, especially when it's something you've been searching for that happens to be scarce. Just because an item sold for $150 new doesn't mean it's worth $150, or even half that much, three or four seasons later. And if it's a current-season item, then a seller probably ought to know what it's currently selling for elsewhere; those $80 pants someone is trying to sell for $60 may have already been marked down by 50 percent or more out in the stores. As a consumer, you need to do a bit of homework so that you know the cost of an item, the current value of that item (not necessarily the same thing), and what it's worth to you.

The High-Low

I've been on one of my periodic clothing acquisition sprees, though not really so much specifically for summer items, since I have more than enough polo shirts and shorts to cover work and weekends. I did pick up a very nice pair of white jeans at Target, of all places. I've been looking for a pair of off-white jeans for several years, and while these were described as "ecru" on the tag, they're closer to white, which I guess will have to suffice.

The fabric is of an appropriate summer weight, the cut is relaxed (I had a bad experience two years ago with some off-white jeans from Uniqlo that unfortunately were way too snug and low-waisted), and they are better made than you might expect (in Egypt, interestingly), all for only $25. If they had a Gap label they'd be at least twice that, and I've seen similar stuff going for as much as $100 (I don't know anyone who pays a Franklin for jeans, but I guess some people do).

I also ordered a pair of Born fisherman sandals from the REI outlet site, which has some decent deals. If you are not in a big hurry and there's an REI store close to you, you can have your order shipped to the store for free and pick it up; mine took just over a week. The sandals are too big (this often happens when footwear comes only in whole sizes) but I went back on the site and the sandals are still available, plus they are now offering an extra 20% off one outlet item, so I just ordered another pair in the smaller size, and I'll return the first pair and end up saving more.

Beyond that, I've been experimenting with shopping some new sources. A couple of months ago I saw something online about web sites that offer an online equivalent of the sample sales that take place all the time in New York. Coincidentally, that same day the Boston Globe ran a piece about the same sites. I decided this was a sign that I needed to check them out. The two biggest are Gilt and RueLaLa (the latter is part of the locally-based SmartBargains group, where I briefly worked a few years back).

Each day I receive emails telling me what is going on sale that day, and each sale lasts a couple of days. The discounts off original retail prices are significant, but prices can still be pretty steep, depending on how ridiculous the starting prices were. One thing to consider about pricey designer clothing is that regardless of where you buy it or how much you end up paying, you should expect high quality of materials and construction; if you buy something and are not satisfied with it, these sample sites do allow returns, but only for site credit.

Of the two sites, Gilt has more men's merchandise, but in both cases much of it is more trendy or fashion-forward than my tastes. I have yet to buy anything from either site; however, these sites do offer an opportunity to get a look at clothing from labels I'm not familiar with or might not otherwise be exposed to, and some of it is worthwhile.

For example, Rag & Bone is sold at stores like Barneys, where I rarely venture, but the clothes are tasteful and low-key, and the whole line appears to be made in the United States. If I find the right item at the right price, I wouldn't hesitate to buy it. And I've learned about a guy named Billy Reid. The only thing that kept me from buying one of his shirts off Gilt was some funky contrast stitching that was a little too noticeable, but I liked his clothes in general, and most of them seem to be made in Italy. He has a store in New York, and last week they threw a party to celebrate the opening of another store in his hometown in Alabama: any place that gives out free fried chicken, bourbon, and beer is worth considering as a place to shop.

This Week in Awesome (6/7/09)

Let's see, what sort of awesome did the internet fairies bring us this week?

You may have heard about the band Weezer endorsing its own version of the Snuggie. I tried to think of it as analagous to when high-end designers do collaborations with mass-market stores like Target or H&M. Then I remembered that I don't really care about Weezer either way. (Consumerist)

Now that summer is more or less upon us, sometimes you come across a person who chooses to disregard the typical way of dressing for the season. This site has lots of them. (Racked)

80s TV, as those of us who were around to watch it can tell you, is an endless source of amusement. This is another of those videos that someone really put a lot of work into. For extra fun, the second clip shows a side-by-side comparison with its original source. One caveat though: if you watch with the sound on, you run the risk of having a theme song embedded in your brain all day. (TV Squad)

And if you really have some time on your hands, there's this advice column on boston.com. I don't make a habit of reading it, and it's a bit out of the range of my usual stuff here, but the other day Universal Hub linked to someone who linked to a discussion that was going on about whether or not a partner's distaste for a certain intimate act was reason enough not to marry that person.

Because it's a family newspaper/web site, the moderator substituted an amusing euphemism for the act in question, making for a particularly surreal round of commentary as this euphemism grew and took on a life of its own. Let's just say you may not look at a certain food item the same way after reading it. Also, there are a couple hundred comments by now, so if you don't want to get wrapped up in this all day, I suggest skimming them.

How's Your Weekend Going?

Hey, you know what's really fun? When your hot water heater decides to take a leak all over your basement floor, and you haven't even gotten to take a shower yet. Yeah, lotta fun.

Being renters, a call to the landlord was the first order of business. He's already been through this once, since the water heater for the upstairs unit gave out a couple of years ago. He's hoping he can get the same guy to come back and take care of ours, but it's probably not going to happen until Monday morning, because plumbers tend to charge extra when they are called to work on a weekend. That's understandable, but it does make things a bit more inconvenient for us.

The hygiene issues were addressed with the equivalent of a sponge bath, using water heated on the stove. Wow, it's like living in the old West, or something. Hopefully this will be resolved soon.

Get Burned

Tonight is the welcome return of one of television's most enjoyable hours of pure escapism: Burn Notice revs up its third season on USA (at 9 PM Eastern time). If you are not familiar with the show, it's a perfect summer blend of Alias (spies, personas, disguises), MacGyver (improvised gadgetry), and The Equalizer (helping people in need who can't always go through normal channels), stirred with a dash of romantic tension, lightened with a touch of humor, and aided and abetted by a series of gorgeous, authentic Miami locales (you do realize that CSI: Miami is not actually filmed in Miami, right?).

Former spy Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan) has been cut off by his shadowy employers (the title refers to the spy world's equivalent of a pink slip) and left in his former home town without ID or means of support. Gradually Michael has found his way by acting as a sort of unlicensed private eye, bodyguard, occasional mercenary, or whatever gig will get him paid without crossing the lines of his moral code. The mystery of who had Michael burned, and why, was a thread running through the first two seasons, but took a background role to his weekly adventures.

Ladies like the show because Michael is easy on the eyes, he's a snappy dresser, is loyal to his friends, and looks out for his mother Madeline ('80s TV icon Sharon Gless). Guys like the show because Michael's primary partner in crime, ex-IRA operative Fiona Glenanne (Gabrielle Anwar), is equally easy on the eyes, because Michael has a cool vintage Dodge Charger, there's lots of action and, on average, something gets blown up (usually by Fiona) about every other episode. Michael also has the assistance of Sam Axe (the great Bruce Campbell), a former military man whom he worked with many times in his former life.

Really, what more could you ask for from summer TV? It's all here. If you're looking to sit down at the end of your day and be entertained, this is a show to check out.

False Alarm

Around 11:30 last night, as I was loading the dishwasher and getting ready to go to bed, the smoke alarms went off. I say "alarms" because the house has a hard-wired system (as opposed to ones that run on batteries) with detectors on each floor, including the basement and the attic. If one goes off, they all go off.

These alarms are frighteningly, ear-piercingly loud. I sleep quite soundly knowing that if there is ever an actual fire, we will all get out safely. But when they do go off, as they did one other time, it's so loud it's literally painful. The dog came into the kitchen, whining because of the noise. The Mrs. had been asleep, but she scurried out of bed, grabbed the dog's leash and the dog, and headed outside. Not for a moment did I think there was a fire; I was more concerned about what did set off the alarms.

I quickly checked the stairs heading down to the basement: no smoke, but I caught a whiff of what I thought was a toaster oven type of smell from the upstairs apartment. I was on my way outside when the alarm stopped. A moment later it started again, then stopped after a few seconds. We went back in the house, and a minute later there was a knock at the back kitchen door. One of the upstairs neighbors wanted to know if everything was okay. I mentioned the smell, and he said, "Oh yeah, I had the oven on its cleaning cycle. Do you think that could have set off the alarm?"

I suppressed the urge to say something mean, and suggested that in the future he might want to make sure he opened a window before running that cycle. The dog settled back down, the Mrs. went back to bed, and I followed soon after.

This Week in Awesome (5/31/09)

Why yes, I do have some good stuff for you this week. Let's begin with our (okay, my) continuing fascination with anything and everything ShamWow-related. I'm pleased that someone finally decided to spoof it properly. (Consumerist, as usual)

We all know, or have at least encountered, a dude like this at some point. (CasualMafia)

And from the same people, a little dig at both hip-hop and hybrid-car righteousness.

Back in the (Warehouse) Club

A good while back, I talked about my affinity for warehouse clubs, and Costco in particular. But after the Mrs. left her previous job her Costco membership, which she'd gotten through the employer, lapsed.

For a while we were clubless. It didn't matter much at first, but as time went by I started to miss things like the two-pound blocks of Cabot aged cheddar (called "special reserve" or some such nonsense), the razor blade cartridges in packs of 12 or 16 that would last me a year, the five tubes of toothpaste for $9, and other such things.

I looked into my benefits at work and found that I could get a membership to BJ's Wholesale Club at a discount, so I signed up. One nice thing about BJ's is that there is one within walking distance of our house, though depending on how much I buy, carrying home a bunch of club-sized mega-packages on foot isn't necessarily the most convenient approach. If I walk there I just have to be mindful of how much I can carry, and for bigger loads we can plan ahead and take the car.

After two visits I'm giving them a mixed report card. BJ's does carry things that Costco did not, like the brands of toothpaste and certain other household items we use, and they have a very nice in-house bakery department (Costco had some baked goods, but it seems like BJ's has more). But I am starting to feel that the membership might not be as worthwhile as I once thought it was.

Razor blades are definitely a good deal (the only place you'll find them priced as low is on eBay, and who knows if those are real or not) but with each package of 12 blade cartridges you get a new razor handle, which is silly and wasteful. A three-pack of anti-perspirant was $10, but I recently got it on sale at CVS at two for $7, which is basically the same deal give or take a few cents, and even that is only slightly less than what I normally pay at Target, so not really that impressive.

I think bigger-ticket items like TVs and outdoor furniture can be better deals, and certainly if you have a large family you can save on food at a warehouse club. Sometimes it's just handy to be able to get a large quantity of something all at once so you don't have to buy it as often, provided you are able to store it. But I think the idea of the warehouse club is more enticing than the reality of the place. It seems like I go there with visions of deals that never materialize, and you also have to factor in the cost of the membership, which is a better deal if you shop there frequently, not such a good deal if you don't.

Since I paid for my membership and it's valid for more than a year, I will continue to make use of it, if only for the three-pound tubs of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. But when it expires, I don't think I will renew it.

This Week in (Possibly Not) Awesome (5/24/09)

Given that it's a holiday weekend and I've been out most of the day, this is going to be more like "This Week in Mildly Amusing." In fact, I admit that this week's entries are leftovers from previous editions that I didn't think were quite worthy, sort of the JV squad of TWIA. Like I said, it's a holiday weekend. I reserve the right to be lazy.

Signspotting is, well, a blog of funny signs.

I didn't realize bands still bothered to make videos, but I liked this one.

The note I made for this site is "crazy suits," so I guess that's what you'll find. (Note: I was asked to remove the link, for an unspecified reason and FIVE YEARS LATER.)

Heading into the Weekend

This morning's commute was... shockingly normal, in all respects. The bus came when it was supposed to, the traffic on the Fellsway was normal, the train rolled into the station just as I reached the platform, it moved at typical rush-hour speed and did not make any unexpected stops. I actually got to work before 9 AM. Small miracles.

Now things are winding down here at the office, heading into the holiday weekend (wait, it's Memorial Day weekend already?). I'm planning on partaking in some retail therapy at the Kittery outlets, either tomorrow or Sunday, depending on the Mrs., who is getting over her first work-derived cold from her new job. Two whole months before getting sick, that's longer than I expected. And I hope to get to see Star Trek over the course of the next three days.

One more thing: I haven't geeked out over Mad Men in a while, mostly because it's been off the air between seasons (the show is back in production on its third season, which is supposed to start in August). However, I still check the official AMC Mad Men blog a couple times a week, and on Tuesday they posted an interview with a young lady who goes by Dyna Moe. Dyna has done a series of illustrations, one for each episode of the two seasons of MM, which are posted here on Flickr. These are extremely cool, and, even better, are available to purchase as prints, cards, and such here.

MBTA Blues, Continued

It seemed like things were starting to get a little better with the commuting, though on Tuesday and Wednesday there was terrible traffic on the Fellsway. I don't know why; maybe people were getting fed up with the Orange Line fiasco and decided to drive instead? The bus trip to Wellington station from my house, that usually takes about ten minutes (about half of which is spent getting through the light at Wellington Circle) took 25 on Tuesday and 20 on Wednesday.

Yesterday I somehow still managed to arrive at work only a few minutes after 9, so I thought today would be more or less the same. That was my mistake: getting overconfident too quickly. Today we were rolling along on the Green Line when we stopped just outside Arlington station, and sat. And sat. And sat for a good fifteen minutes, with occasional announcements about "signal problems" ahead. I could see out the front of the train that there was another train just ahead of us, waiting in the station. What fun.

Eventually we were allowed to move forward into the station, but were told that the problems were affecting the entire Green Line, and that once we got to Copley the train would be sitting for an indefinite period of time, and we might want to consider getting off the train and making other arrangements. Luckily I was able to walk the two blocks down to Copley Square and catch a 39 bus down Huntington Avenue, but it was still nearly 10 AM when I arrived at work.

Of course, we now know that not just the Green Line but the whole system was affected, by a maintenance crew's error. Whoopsie. Not a real good week for the T. One thing about dealing with more than a week of transit problems is that I've been able to detach from concern about what time I'm going to get to work. When there's nothing you can do about it, the best thing to do is stop worrying and let it go.

One other bit of weirdness this morning: as I came out of the Berkeley Street exit of Arlington (the main entrance has been closed for a couple of years while they redo the place) and crossed the corner in front of Shreve's, I saw a youngish woman, her cell phone pressed to her ear, burst into tears and start crying loudly, right on the street corner. I couldn't help but wonder what sort of bad news she had just received. (I assume she wasn't crying about the T's problems.) Did she just get dumped? Not so likely at 9:30 AM. A lost pet? A death in the family seemed the most likely explanation. I felt badly for her, but before I could even stop to see if I could help in any way, she had already turned her back and moved into a corner of the building, to be as alone with her grief as possible on a busy street.

MBTA: MayBe Train Arrive?

The level of suck on the Orange Line is reaching epic proportions. Since last Wednesday, the morning and evening commutes have been disastrous.

This morning started on a wrong note even before I even reached the train. My usual bus was 15 minutes late (the usual gap between buses in the morning is 20 minutes). When I reached the platform at Wellington I saw a coworker (we are our office's only two Medfordites), and we immediately noticed how crowded the platform was. After almost 30 minutes and two trains that were too full to contemplate boarding, we were able to squeeze onto the third.

We switched to the Green Line at North Station, and eventually made it to the office at 9:35. I left my house at 7:50, so that's one hour and 45 minutes. On a good day, with fortuitous connections, I can make the trip in 50 minutes; on a more typical day, one hour. Today I need to get home to tend to the dog, so I'm wondering what time I should leave work.

I don't know what is wrong with the Orange Line's signals (since that's where they keep telling us the problem lies), and I don't know why it's taking the T so long to diagnose and fix it. I do remember a few years back, being inconvenienced for months at a time while the signal system on the Orange Line was supposedly being upgraded.

Regardless, the situation is unacceptable, and the T is not helping matters by not giving the riders any useful information. Cryptic robo-announcements about "signal problems" don't do us any good. Telling us to use the Green Line doesn't do us any good if we're stuck at Wellington.

This Week in Awesome (5/17/09)

After my last check-in, the rest of the work week turned out to be about the same. Things should calm down in a couple of days, and I have some stuff that I've started working on but just haven't had time to complete.

Meanwhile, on to the awesome...

There's definitely some schadenfreude to be found in looking at these pictures, but who among us doesn't have similarly awful stuff in their past?

Someone has way too much time on their hands... apparently there's a whole series of these clips on YouTube, but since the titles (and all the toy vehicles) are in Japanese, I'm at a bit of a loss to decipher the sequence. If you too find yourself with an abundance of free time, perhaps you could watch them all and report back?

Whatever you think of TV pitchman Vince, the products he hawks, or his extracurricular activities, you have to admire the effort and talent that a guy named Steve Porter put into this "remix" of the Slap Chop infomercial. (The Auto-Tune is truly a wondrous thing, especially if it can make someone "sing" who wasn't singing in the first place.) Of course, there's also one for the ShamWow; the consensus seems to be that it's not as good, but I'll leave that for you to decide. And if you're lucky enough not to know who this guy is, then I salute you.

That Bites

I know I haven't posted anything this week. Things have been a little bit pressurized at work, which is unusual, and it's distracting me from my ongoing mission to deconstruct the concept of productivity.

However, I find myself with a bit of time at the moment. I had my lower braces put on last week, and a slightly thicker wire put on the top ones. No problems so far, other than the end of the bottom wire giving the inside of my mouth a good gouging, but a quick visit to the dentist's office yesterday took care of it.

But he also put a block behind my two front upper teeth to prevent my bite from closing all the way, so as not to hit the bottom braces with the top teeth. This has made eating weird all over again, because I can't use my front teeth to bite into things like I normally would. Very frustrating, and it's also more difficult to chew food as thoroughly as I should. Consequently, I'm trying to eat soft foods whenever possible, and to avoid sandwiches and things that require biting, but there's no way I'm giving up Anna's burritos.

This Week in Awesome (5/10/09)

We're just overflowing with awesome this week, so let's get right to this week's goodies:

3. I may have said this before, but I love locally produced commercials. However, this one creeps me out. (AdFreak via Jalponik)

2. Ever wondered what scenes from classic movies would be like if the dialogue were performed by an Amazon Kindle and an Apple iPhone? Wonder no more. (DVICE blog)

1. This clip gives a whole new meaning to the words "car jack." You probably don't want to watch this one at work, and it's probably not appropriate for kids either. (Break.com, also via Jalopnik)

Vinyl Junkie Extraordinaire

In my basement I have around 250 vinyl LPs (and a couple dozen 12" singles) in storage, representing the focus of a good deal of my leisure time from the mid-1970s through the late 1980s (I got my first CD player in '87, but I kept buying vinyl for a while after that). Unlike a lot of other people, I didn't sell or discard my records after switching to CDs. One friend's husband is an extremely avid collector, and he owns several thousand LPs, which take up quite a bit of space in their home.

But the king of vinyl has to be Bob George, the co-founder of a recorded music archive that is profiled today in a story on the New York Times City Room blog. Mr. George's archive contains more than two million recordings from 1950 to the present. His efforts have led to a partnership with Columbia University (coincidentally the alma mater of the Mrs.' father) that opens the archive to research and classroom use.

Those of you who are into collecting music, regardless of format, will likely appreciate this story and Mr. George's dedication to preserving a piece of cultural history. The story also has a sidebar featuring some of the archive's music.

Reuse, Retread, Recycle

Time for another TV rant; this time NBC's going to be the target of my disapproval. The Peacock made some announcements yesterday regarding their fall plans. They stopped short of detailing their full schedule, but outlined the new shows in the works.

First, there's Jay Leno. I have nothing against the guy, but his show is boring, and I think giving over five hours of prime-time real estate to what will essentially be the same show he's been doing since 1992 is a bad idea. It's a cop-out, and it might as well be a white flag from NBC, because there's no way Jay is going to draw more viewers than CSI: Extra Cheese or other competing shows at 10 PM.

So, what else does NBC have lined up for us? Not one but two medical dramas, trying to fill that ER void, I guess. One is called Trauma and focuses on EMTs, the other is called Mercy and focuses on nurses. How long until we get Hospital Accounting or a gritty drama about the travails of candy stripers? Yeesh.

Also, there's another attempt to do a series based on the 20-year-old movie Parenthood. I'm completely baffled by why anyone would think this is a good idea, especially since the first attempt, which I was not aware of (I had to go look it up on IMDB) was a miserable failure. I guess I'm not the target audience. They're also prepping a post-apocalyptic drama called Day One, which sounds an awful lot like CBS's Jericho from a couple of years ago, and we all know how well that worked out.

If you prefer comedy but don't get why people like those shows on Thursday without laugh tracks, you might enjoy Community, starring... wait for it... Chevy Chase, as a later-life student at a community college. Wow. I mean... wow. (Are we sure he's not a teacher?) I just have to think someone spiked the water cooler at NBC's programming offices with peyote. This one also stars The Soup host Joel McHale, probably because they owe him for not moving forward with the US version of The IT Crowd that he was slated to be in. There's one other comedy, 100 Questions, something about dating. I wouldn't even mention it, except that behind-the-scenes TV comedy legend James Burrows is somehow involved. And of course there are more crappy reality shows.

But what I'm really bitter about is that NBC did not see fit to renew Life. (Some other shows are still on the bubble as far as renewal, but I'm not invested in any of them.) Life wasn't a great show, but it was pretty entertaining, and it was an attempt at a police procedural that was a bit different than most, which probably made it too quirky to succeed. It would be a natural fit on parent company NBC Universal's USA cable network, but don't look for such a miracle to happen, because if it was going to happen, they would have already arranged it and announced it.

At least I know that, aside from the Thursday comedies and Sunday night football games, I won't have to concern myself with NBC come September.

This Week in Awesome (5/3/09)

I can't believe I forgot to do this over the weekend... my apologies. I don't want to deprive anyone of their weekly dose of awesome.

After the president's news conference once again disrupted the prime-time TV schedule last Wednesday, the ABC show Better Off Ted, which was one of the preempted programs, released a tongue-in-cheek commercial response in the guise of Veridian Dynamics, the fictitious corporation portrayed in the show. This is a very funny show, in the vein of Arrested Development but with a vibe of its own. Some of their other fake commercials are here. (TV Squad)

Have you seen those Microsoft ads where supposedly real people (who are quite obviously actors) go computer shopping? Someone did a parody of them. (Landline TV)

And in the never-ending parade of stupid criminals, we have some video from the Houston Police Department. The Houston cops have been using bait cars to battle car theft, and these cars have cameras mounted inside. Not only does this help the conviction rate, it provides some amusing moments for us. (Houston Chronicle)

Cheesy Chunks

Just got back from dinner at good old Cambridge Common. They have something on the menu called "mac & cheese bites." Basically they cut mac and cheese into chunks about an inch across, bread them and fry them. Interestingly, our friend's young son tried them but didn't like them.

First, how can a kid not like that? Second, while the menu says, "answering the question: can mac & cheese really get any better?" the first thing I thought of was, they found a way to make mac & cheese even less healthy than it already is.

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

Given that we're about to hit (and possibly surpass) 90 degrees this afternoon, I felt pretty bad about leaving the dog home alone today. We don't have the air conditioners in yet, so the best I could do for her was to leave a fan running, pointed directly on her. And after this evening, things will be much more comfortable, for her and for us.

Speaking of warm weather, I've been looking around for a summer suit. I'll have more to say about this in due time, but for now I want to sort of circle back to last week's post about pants, and warn everyone about something even more hideous and appalling. Over the weekend I wandered into an H&M. This is a store I don't normally bother going into, because even though their clothes are inexpensive, they are also cheaply made and aimed at a younger, thinner audience. But I was in a mall, saw the store, and thought I'd remembered seeing something in a magazine about an H&M suit.

I didn't find what I thought I'd seen, but I did see something so horrifying that I made an audible exclamation of shock. Fortunately, no one was near me at the time. The source of this distress? A striped seersucker sport coat and MATCHING SHORTS. (Fortunately for the rest of you, the H&M web site doesn't have any images of it.) Now, I've already made my feelings clear about this incredibly awful look, but I guess it won't die. But guys, if I see any of you wearing this outfit later on in the summer, I seriously cannot be held responsible for what I might do.

This Week in Awesome (4/26/09)

Whoops, I almost let the weekend slip by without posting this...

This is a strange little video about a horse that has some very, uh, un-horse-like behavior. The Mrs. thought this was amusing enough to post on her Facebook page, so if you've already seen it I apologize, but she only knew about it because I showed it to her. And yes, I want the credit, and yes, I am just that petty, sometimes. (Next time I'll wait until after I've posted it first to show her...)

Vintage commercials are the best.

Someone out there doesn't care for hipsters. I laughed at this, and you probably will too.

This last one is also a commercial, though a contemporary one. But it sure doesn't look like one, and it's so cool you won't care anyway.

A Sure Sign of Spring

With today's beautiful weather and the even warmer days expected this weekend, I was just thinking about this, and then Esquire goes and articulates it so concisely for our benefit.

Thank you, ladies, thank you all. Now, let's see how long it takes until I see last summer's favorite confusing female fashion choice, the sundress worn with cowboy boots (see #7 here).

Update, 2 PM: Well, that really didn't take long... just got back from getting lunch, and walking down the "Pike" (central corridor) in Brigham & Womens was a woman wearing exactly what I'd described above.

Frankenpants

I don't follow high fashion, but I do pay attention to what is being offered to men of average means and tastes. I do this for a number of reasons: I just like to shop, I care about my appearance and I like to know what's out there, I like to observe how trends make their way into the culture, and I like to have some advance warning about things that are horrible and wrong and should not be suffered by any man.

It's that last part that leads me to today's example of What Not to Wear: The Guy Edition (with apologies to Clinton and Stacy, but I suspect they wouldn't mind). For more than four decades, Lands' End has been dressing men (and women) who want to look presentable at work but don't want to put any effort into thinking about it. There's really nothing wrong with that. They serve a need, and their clothing tends to be fairly priced and decently made.

But a while back I noticed something in the Lands' End catalog called "trouser jeans." Basically these are pants that combine the front half of a pair of khakis (a flat front with pockets on the side seams) with the back half of a pair of jeans (a seamed yoke below the waist and sewn-on back pockets). This is the sartorial equivalent of a mullet (business in the front, party in the back), and an answer to a question that never should have been asked.

As soon as I realized what I was looking at, my first thought was, Why? I can't help but wonder what the designers were thinking. It's so wrong on so many levels. Jeans may be a little more comfortable than khakis, but it's not like the typical pair of khakis is constricting; if yours are, you are either buying the wrong size, or you're shopping in the wrong place. If you work somewhere that doesn't allow you to wear jeans, how is this any better? The only difference is that these are made out of twill or canvas, but it's not difficult to find jeans that are made that way. They could be worse, but only if the front was pleated.

The more I thought about it (and I couldn't stop thinking about it, although I certainly tried), the more I felt that if anything, this unholy hybrid pant should have been done the opposite way: jeans in the front, khakis in the back. Why? I think the front pockets of jeans are easier to use because the opening is horizontal instead of vertical, and the set-in rear pockets are neater and more presentable. Then I decided I was nuts for thinking about it so much.

If you clicked on the link above, you may have noticed that these pants are now on sale. We can only hope that Lands' End has learned its lesson and is getting rid of them for good.

The Endorsement: Merrell

For a long time I've had problems with my feet. I've had to put some sort of cushioning insole in several pairs of my shoes (even ones that are supposed to be extra-comfortable), and sometimes I get a very painful cramp in my right foot, depending on how much standing or walking I'm doing. If I take off the shoe and stretch out my foot, the cramp tends to go away, but it isn't always convenient or dignified to do that. The problem is not confined to one particular type or brand of shoe, so I know that my foot is the problem, not the shoes. I know that I should see a podiatrist about it, but I feel like I can barely manage my time as it is.

One problem is that shoes frequently don't start to cause me trouble until I've had them for a while, at which point they can't be returned. A notable exception to this is L.L. Bean. For generations outdoorsmen, thrifty Yankees, and countless others made mail-order purchases from Bean with confidence because of the security of the company's guarantee that if a customer was unhappy with any product, for any reason, at any time, they could return it.

I have been a Bean customer for nearly 30 years. I've bought just about every article of clothing they offer, and I never had a problem with anything I purchased, until a couple of years ago. I bought a pair of casual shoes to wear to work, and I found that after a few hours, the shoes were causing sharp pains in my legs. This was different from the foot cramp, and worse. The shoes had to go back. The clerk at the store was extremely apologetic. I thought it was a fluke occurrence, and didn't give it much more thought after that.

Each year after Christmas, Bean has a big clearance sale to get ready for spring. I was in need of a pair of outdoorish shoes, what most people would call a trail shoe. This is a type of shoe I like to wear on weekends in spring and fall, something a bit more rugged than a typical sneaker, maybe something with waterproofing or at least water resistance. I'd looked at Bean's trail shoes a couple of times, and when I saw that they were 30% off their regular price in the post-holiday sale, I ordered a pair.

The first few times I wore them they were fine, but then I started to have pain similar to what happened with the other shoes. Not quite as severe, and more in the ankles than the legs, but significant enough that I knew I wouldn't be able to keep wearing them. I fear that Bean is making products to hit a target price point, and that quality is suffering as a result. It doesn't mean that I'm giving up on them completely, but I don't think I can keep buying shoes from them, which is unfortunate.

That still left me in need of a trail shoe. One reason I'd liked the Bean shoes was that they were fairly low-key in appearance; a lot of the other shoes I looked at resembled lumpy spaceships. So-called trail running sneakers were even worse. Somehow I stumbled onto some Merrell shoes on the web. I always thought that Merrell made shoes for serious outdoor types like rock climbers, or those slip-ons for older folks who can no longer bend down to tie their shoes, so I just never paid much attention. I was even more interested when I learned that certain styles were available in wide widths.

Eventually I decided on the Moab, which is available in two versions. One is ventilated and I guess is meant to be worn in warmer weather; the other is waterproof, making it much more practical for year-round wear. I went to several shoe sites and read customers' reviews, and found that this shoe was generally very favorably reviewed, a good sign. It's very light compared to other shoes I've seen in this style, and the interior cushioning is made of a very dense foam; I have some other shoes with this type of insole (Rockport's XCS line has it), and they have been among my more comfortable and less troublesome shoes. It's also available in four colors, which made it easier to find one I liked (I chose the gray/black combo that Merrell calls "beluga").

I wore the shoes all day Saturday and all day Sunday: no cramping, my feet did not hurt at all, and neither did my ankles or legs. This is a big relief, and gives me confidence that there will be other pain-free shoes in my future.

This Week in Awesome (4/19/09)

A bit of a theme to this week's entries, though I wasn't trying for one; it just sort of came together that way. You'll see what I mean...

3. We begin with a piece about Harlequin romances that ran on Nightline at the beginning of the week, though I found the clip on Consumerist. The "readings" are cute, but what I found most interesting was that Harlequin publishes a series of books aimed at female NASCAR fans. Who knew?

2. Over in Norway, a couple were apparently so into each other that they couldn't wait until they got off the road and out of their car to have sex. Hope it was worth it.

1. Finally, folks in South Bend, Indiana prefer not to have sex while driving at excessive speeds, but that doesn't mean they aren't having sex in other inappropriate places. Apparently the restroom in one local fast food place is the hot spot for Hoosier swingers.

Taxed

We left our taxes until last night. I don't know why; it's not like we owe money. It's just one of those things that's easy to forget over the course of weekend after weekend, until the deadline is at hand. We're not getting back as much as last year, but that's mostly because the Mrs. only worked for about one-third of 2008.

For a number of years we have been able to file our Massachusetts state taxes over the phone, but now they have an online system. It was pretty simple, except I had to enter all the W-2 information for each form. This wasn't horrible, but if you have more than one job, and your spouse has more than one job, it could get pretty tedious pretty fast.

This Week in Awesome (4/12/09)

I'd meant to get back in the habit of posting this segment over the weekend, but we were gone most of yesterday, and then at around 10:45 PM my computer decided to devour a blank CD that I was attempting to burn some music onto. I spent about 45 minutes trying unsuccessfully to get it to eject the disc, then gave up and went to bed.

Anyway, a few blips of awesomeness did cross my radar screen last week.

3. This rap video (by a white guy named Zach) is either a very clever spoof, or just too depressing to contemplate. I recommend not watching more than the first minute or so--that's long enough to get the idea--or at least watch it with the sound off, so you don't do any permanent damage to your brain. (Unlikely Words, via Universal Hub)

2. Want to feel a little better about yourself? Read this story, then this one. (both via Jalopnik)

1. And finally, an online tribute (celebration? commiseration?) of some of life's more embarrassing moments. I have no idea if these are real or doctored, but really, who cares? (Thrillist via Racked, which is not what you think at all, you dirty-minded guttersnipes, but rather a shopping blog)

Color Them Bad

Add one more item to the rapidly-growing list of Every Single Eighties Fad That's Coming Back From The Dead Like A Zombie And Getting Recycled This Year: boat shoes. Not only are they apparently back, but they are proliferating in a rainbow of ungodly colors, as evidenced here and here and, perhaps most painfully, here.

These shoes were popular when I was in high school, but they only came in one color, dark brown. I'm definitely in favor of variety, but more importantly, the examples above are not colors that should be seen on the feet of any self-respecting man. Guys, if your significant other attempts to buy or get you to buy boat shoes for the spring and summer, PLEASE stand up for your dignity and insist that they be a tasteful, grown-up color, like these.

And one more thing: no socks. Boat shoes are meant to be worn without socks, okay? If I see you on the subway wearing these things with socks, I'm going to laugh and point, but if I see you wearing one of those silly colors, I'm going to cry.

Giving It Away

[CAUTION: Spoiler alert! This post contains information about Monday's episode of House. If you have not watched the episode and do not want to have a major plot point spoiled for you, please don't read any further.]

Now that the public service warning is out of the way, I have a couple of things to say about this week's episode. Not so much about the story line itself, though it was certainly a twist I didn't see coming. Viewers now know that the actor Kal Penn left the show to take a position in the Obama administration. I learned this from reading an Associated Press story yesterday morning on boston.com, before I'd seen the episode. Near the end of the article it also said, "His 'House' character committed suicide in Monday's episode."

WHAT?! Thanks a lot for ruining that for me, AP. (Oh, and by the way, AP, titles of television shows are supposed to be in italics, not in quotes. "AP style," my ass.)

I tried to find a statistic regarding the percentage of US households with digital video recorders; one estimate from September puts it at 27%, which is good enough for my argument. Monday's episode of House drew 13 million viewers, so let's say that 27% of those, including me, recorded the episode to watch later. That's well over three million people that potentially had the episode's plot spoiled for them. TV-oriented web sites have learned to be more respectful of viewers, placing spoilery information on inside pages. Does no one at the AP use a DVR?

The other thing about this whole scenario that is a bit odd is that, at the end of the episode, following a public-service ad for a suicide-prevention organization, Fox encouraged viewers to visit a memorial web site for the character played by Penn on the show. The Mrs. said, "That's creepy." I just think it's strange. Characters die on television shows all the time, sometimes by their own hand. But for a television network to create and promote an online memorial for a fictitious character is just a little too... meta for me, I guess.

One other thing about the memorial site that I think is amusing: there are handwritten notes from the other characters on the show, each one on personalized stationery. What a lovely, quaint anachronism. Does anyone bother to get personalized stationery made anymore? I know at one time it was considered obligatory for adult professionals and folks who considered themselves part of polite society. I'm not maligning it; rather, I've always thought it was a very grown-up and dignified thing to do, but I can't even remember the last time I wrote a note to anyone on paper. I guess the show's producers were simply looking for a visual hook for the memorial page.

Overheard: Offspring Edition

A couple of bits from my weekend visit to the Bass Pro Shop...

1. Father to daughter, perhaps six or seven: "Where's your sister?" Daughter: "She's in the tree." (There are trees inside the store.)

2. In the restroom there were large, deep metal sinks nearly two feet square. Teenager, enthusiastically: "Dad, these sinks would be great for gutting fish!"

Adventures in Outdoorland

Yesterday we went exploring in the wilds of suburbia, specifically the retail and entertainment complex known as Patriot Place that has sprung up like so much crabgrass around the fringes of the stadium's property down in Foxborough. Don't get me wrong, the Kraft family is obviously a very smart group of business people, but the Christmas Tree Shop and Victoria's Secret seem just a little incongruous.

The original purpose driving our visit was to look at some shoes. The shoes were at the Bass Pro Shop, which is an outdoor emporium the likes of which most people in this part of the country, myself included, have not seen. Yeah, sure, I've been to the Bean mother ship in Freeport and so have you, but as the Mrs. put it, "this place is like L.L. Bean on crack."

I was in search of something specific that I had seen on their web site, but I didn't want to order it because I didn't know if they would fit, and then I would have to pay shipping both ways because Bass Pro is one of those stores that does not allow web order returns at their stores. So I figured it was just easier to go there, try on the shoes, and see if I liked them, and I was curious about the place anyway.

If you've spent time in the midwest or the southeast and you do anything outdoorsy, chances are you've visited one of these stores. They are huge and rustic, and there are hundreds of taxidermied animals decorating the place. The whole store is built on two levels surrounding a pool and waterfall, and in addition to the clothing, there are acres of fishing equipment (including boats), lots of camping equipment, archery gear, guns, and just about anything else you could think of for an outdoor activity. It's retail as theater.

I took a spin through the men's department before heading to the shoes. They have a couple of their own labels, and some of that stuff was mildly interesting and reasonably priced, but nothing made me want to take it home. I ended up not liking the shoes, so I didn't buy anything. I might consider buying something there in the future, but I probably don't need to visit the store again. The Mrs. managed to entertain herself for about half an hour before losing interest, as well as being seized with a strong feeling of being somewhere she didn't belong.

The story would end there, except we were hungry, it was dinner time, and there are about half a dozen restaurants in the Patriot Place complex. We drove to the other end where the stores and restaurants have been assembled in a village-like layout, walked around for a few minutes, and decided to eat a a place called Red Robin. Apparently the Foxborough area has been lacking for weekend casual dining destinations, because it seemed like all of Norfolk County was either waiting for a table or already eating. There was a Revolution game taking place but it had already started, so presumably the people in the restaurant weren't going to the game.

We ordered burgers, which are supposedly Red Robin's specialty (it's a chain with some 400 locations, but I believe it's pretty new to this part of the country). They took an inordinately long time to arrive; at one point, after 15 or 20 minutes had gone by, our waitress came by to tell us our food was taking longer than expected, and she was on her way to the kitchen to see what was up.

You'd expect this might lead to the food arriving in another couple of minutes, but it was about another 15 before the food appeared. Both burgers had been prepared wrong: I had asked for no mayo, and there it was on the bottom bun, and the Mrs. had asked for her mayo on the side, and it was on the burger. Not only that, but she was disappointed overall because she thought the turkey patty tasted too processed.

When we told the waitress, she apologized profusely and promised to find a manager. A few minutes later a young fellow came over and introduced himself as Pat, the kitchen manager. He too apologized and offered to take both burgers off the bill, leaving my beer. So the total, which had been around $27 before tip, was now $6 plus tax. After Pat left I looked at the Mrs. and said, "Does it taste any better now?" We made sure to give our waitress, Sarah, a generous tip, because clearly whatever was going on was beyond her control.

Bad Habits

There's nothing quite like stepping into a restroom on one's way to get lunch and picking up the unmistakable aromatic residue of someone's surreptitious and illegal smoke break. In a HOSPITAL, no less. So appetizing...

After I'd gotten my lunch, a caesar salad with grilled chicken, I was ladling on the dressing (they put it out in a big tub just to one side of the grill line where you get the salads) and trying to hurry so as not to hold up the person behind me, who had also gotten the salad and was waiting to add her own dressing. Seeing how much I was ladling on (something the Mrs. frequently chides me about), she said, "You might as well have gotten french fries."

Underneath It All

While thrashing around in search of a suitable topic, I recalled an exchange I've been having via email with A Proper Bostonian regarding undershirts. She mentioned that her husband's undershirts are getting old and need to be replaced.

I find that somewhat interesting, because I've always taken care of that sort of thing myself and I have a hard time imagining the Mrs. buying undershirts (or any other item of clothing, for that matter) for me. But everyone's different; APB's spouse is a busy guy, and so he's lucky to have someone to worry about such things for him.

My stance on undershirts is that I consider them to be more or less disposable, and therefore I buy them as inexpensively as possible. Same goes for underwear bottoms and socks. That doesn't mean I buy the cheapest ones I can find, because that's almost always a bad idea. Saving a couple of bucks doesn't do you any good if the things fall apart after a few washes, or shrink to child size, or stretch out too much. You need to find the right balance between thrift and value.

Most of the time, a multi-pack or two of Hanes or Fruit of the Loom T's is all you need. You can easily find these at the local department store or mega-discount emporium of your choice, and nowadays a lot of CVS and Walgreens stores carry them too. In my case that doesn't quite fill the need, because most of my undershirts are gray rather than white. As with so many other things, I have to be a bit of a contrarian about my undershirts; I do have a few white ones, but I prefer gray, and it's harder to find those in multi-packs.

For the past couple of years I've been buying them at Old Navy. For whatever reason they come in packages of only two, so I wait for sales and buy a couple of packages, adding them into the rotation and disposing of any that have gotten too ratty. But at the moment they are also selling basic T-shirts that are slightly heftier and come in an array of colors. The quality of these is surprisingly good, and are currently on sale for $5 each (regular price is $8.50, still fairly cheap), making it an excellent time to stock up. I got two in dark gray and two in a heathery cream that is typically called oatmeal. These are good colors to have when you want to wear something other than basic gray or white. They also come in black, navy, red, and a few other colors.

I take a similar approach with briefs, which I also prefer in gray. Several years back I discovered that the late, lamented Filene's was carrying something called Hanes Ultimate. Of course this was just marketing spin, but I hadn't seen them anywhere else and they were on sale, so I decided to try them out, and I liked them so much I bought several more packages. When Filene's closing was announced, I ran all over the metro area, buying up as many of the briefs as I could find in my size, and I still have five or six unopened packages tucked in a corner of the closet, so hopefully I'll be set for a few years yet.

As for socks, you get the idea: multi-packs of black, gray, and khaki athletic-type socks with extra cushioning for comfort. I have some socks in other colors, but they were bought in pretty much the same way, and in one or two cases I have another package of the same socks in reserve for when the others wear out. I wear white socks only in the summer with white sneakers, either the short ankle-high kind or the no-show kind. (I recommend the Macy's house brand, which are nice and plush, amply cushioned, made in the USA, and can sometimes be found on sale.)

Practicality, comfort, and value, with the least possible amount of fuss, are my primary motivations.

This Week in Awesome (3/29/09)

Or perhaps in this instance, it's more accurate to say "awesomely bizarre": once again courtesy of The Soup Blog, we are presented with an ad for something of questionable usefulness... but who am I to decide such things? Watch the clip (approx. 1:30) and make up your own mind.

Also, this week's episode of 30 Rock was completely jammed with laughs, and was perhaps their funniest episode yet. The only problem with that? It sets the bar awfully high. I couldn't single out just one clip, so you can watch the whole episode here, if you're so inclined.

Brackets

Ha! You probably thought I was going to talk about the basketball tournament. Screw that noise, because I couldn't care less. When I heard that some of the games were going to be played here in Boston, my first thought was, "Great, traffic and crowds--stay away from the Garden this weekend." Now that might seem harsh, but there's no point in being dishonest about it: basketball just doesn't interest me.

The brackets I'm referring to are the ones the dentist put on my teeth six weeks ago. For the most part things have been fine, except for two that refuse to stay attached. I went back the day after they were first put on to have them redone, and they came right off again. I went back the following week, and that time they lasted three days. After that I didn't even bother calling or going back; I decided I'd just wait until this week's visit, the main purpose of which was to change the wire to a slightly thicker one.

I thought eating was causing the brackets to dislodge, but the dentist said he could see that the adhesive was still on my teeth, so the failure was between the adhesive and the brackets. On my way home from his office on the T, approximately 30 minutes later, I felt one of the troublemakers pop off, and the other one did the same thing about an hour later. So I've dutifully put in the call to the office, and I'll probably have to go back in a couple of days. Fortunately the office is only a 20-minute walk from where I work.

Otherwise, the braces are doing what they are supposed to do. He compared my teeth to the models he had made before the braces went on, and said that my upper bite has widened slightly more than 1.5 millimeters in the past six weeks, which is right on target for expected progress. It might seem hard to believe, but I can feel the difference, and my sister, who works for a dentist, said that she thought she could see a slight difference. In six more weeks the lower braces will go on, and I'll have another progress report.

Back to Work

Well, the Mrs. is going back to work this week. She found herself a real job again, almost a year and a half after quitting her previous one due to dissatisfaction, stress, and all those other things that tend to make people want to quit jobs. She's been home the past two months after finishing a five-month temp job, so having a steady income again will be welcome.

Of course, given the state of the economy some compromise was inevitable, and she will be making significantly less money than before, but it's full-time work in her chosen field, work that has meaning for her and helps others, and an opportunity for her to gain valuable experience in a more administrative role.

In any situation like this, it takes a week or two to adjust to having to get up and successfully execute a morning routine after an extended period of leisure. But I think the dog is going to have to undergo the biggest adjustment: her favored person has been home with her nearly every day, and now she's abruptly going to be left alone for most of each day. She spends most of that time asleep, so it's not quite as traumatic as it might seem.

This Week in Awesome (3/21/09)

Last weekend we were away, so I didn't have a chance to post another edition of This Week in Awesome, but I think this will make up for it.

This is kind of the mash-up to end all mash-ups. This guy who goes by Kutiman collected a bunch of YouTube videos of people playing instruments, and edited them into songs. It must have been a lot of work, but the results sure are impressive. I really hope some record company executive has the sense to sign Kutiman to a contract.

So, I hope you enjoy ThruYou.

Maybe Next Time...

One thing the Mrs. and I share is a love of sweets, treats, and goodies. We have been known to structure a Saturday around a trip to the Flour Bakery down near the waterfront, or to Lyndell's in Ball Square.

We've heard from several people that we have to try the cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery in Greenwich Village. On our visit last summer we attempted to do so, only to find the line out the door, around the corner, and a good way down the block. It was around 8:30 on a Saturday evening in June, so it was definitely prime post-dinner walk-around-and-get-a-cupcake time, and we probably should have known better.

This time we decided to try again on Sunday evening, hoping the place wouldn't be quite so mobbed, and we did in fact make it in the door, but just barely. Just ahead of us there was a cluster of maybe five mewly, bratty kids squirming around with a couple of bored-looking downtown moms. Then I noticed that the trays of cupcakes were set out in the window, the idea being that you're supposed to make your selections and then wait to pay. I started thinking about how many of the cupcakes those kids might have touched, and suddenly I didn't want a cupcake anymore.

Overheard: Available Only with a Prescription Edition

We just got back from a few days in New York, and while we always enjoy the people-watching, we also enjoy people-listening. It amazes me what people say when they don't realize (or care) anyone else is listening. I think it's partly because so much of our communication today takes place on cell phones, and it's kind of an automatic tendency to raise one's voice, especially when talking outdoors, in an effort to be heard.

Saturday night at a restaurant in Tribeca, we were treated to two young ladies discussing all sorts of things about their families and significant others. They were sitting two tables away, but the restaurant wasn't too busy and we could hear just about everything they said (which the Mrs. likes to refer to as "dinner and a show"). Just as we were getting up to leave, one said, about her live-in boyfriend, "He only takes them once in a while, so it's not like they're habit-forming. And besides, he writes so much better when he's on Ambien."

Good Shows, Bad Networks, Part 4: A New Hope?

Well, I guess I got a little carried away. I didn't intend to go on so long about this stuff; it started as a simple post about the cancellation of a TV show I like, but the ideas kept coming and I had to divide it up. This is it (for now)...

The broadcast networks need to stop looking at each pilot as the next potential number one hit show, and expect it to be so five minutes after the show hits the air. Statistically it isn't going to happen, and often the shows that end up becoming hits don't look like hits early on. Now-revered shows like Seinfeld, The X-Files, Everybody Loves Raymond, and even CSI took a year or more to really catch on with viewers.

While they're at it, the broadcast networks also need to acknowledge that too many shows outstay their welcome. ER is finally going off the air in about a month, after how many seasons? 15! (I had to go look that up, as I stopped watching it years ago.) From what I've read, the critical consensus is that the show should have concluded four or five seasons ago, but like Detroit's automakers, NBC didn't have a plan for the future; instead of investing in finding another tent-pole drama to supplant ER as the big draw on Thursdays, they chose to milk as many seasons out of the show as they could. What now, NBC? What if you had been willing to end ER in 2004 and start airing Lost on Thursdays at 10 PM instead? The two shows draw about the same number of viewers these days, but which one has had more buzz over the past five years?

I became a fan of The X-Files as soon as I made its acquaintance in the fall of 1993, but even as a fan of the show who stuck with it all the way to the end, I feel it stayed on the air probably two seasons too long (Doggett and Reyes just weren't the same as Mulder and Scully), and when it finally ended I think most fans were relieved. Last year's poorly-received and poorly-reviewed movie indicated that the franchise has probably run out of gas, which is sad, because I'd like to think that an entity as special as The X-Files was at its peak could sustain itself in some form for a while longer.

For a long time British TV networks have developed limited-run, closed-end shows developed to play out over the course of a couple of seasons. This approach to programming gives show creators a framework on which to build a story with a beginning, middle, and end (the original UK versions of The Office and Life On Mars ran this way). Another BBC template is to introduce a central character or set of characters in a movie- or miniseries-length program like Prime Suspect and revisit those characters every year or two. CBS is currently doing this with a series of movies featuring Robert Parker's small-town sheriff Jesse Stone. The reviews are positive, and the fans look forward to each new installment.

Speaking of Lost, it started out as a show without a known end date, but during its third season in 2006-7, its creators took the unusual step of announcing that they had a plan to end the show after three more seasons. They were justifiably afraid that the onus of stringing the many strands of its extremely complex plot through an unknown number of additional seasons would weaken the show creatively; indeed, some argue that the show did weaken creatively during that third season and that's precisely what brought them to their decision.

Lost's creators also opted for shorter seasons that would run uninterrupted each winter and spring, which allowed the storytelling to thrive without the inevitable gaps necessitated by spreading out the episodes over a full eight-month season. So not only do the fans get more sustained doses of their beloved show, but they know that their investment is going to pay off by the spring of 2010, when the show is set to conclude. And let's give credit (for a change) to ABC for airing Lost in the first place, but more importantly, for agreeing that these were the right creative choices for the show.

Miniseries flourished in the 1970s, and there's no reason they couldn't do so again. CBS (again, hmm) has a self-contained program starting in April. Harper's Island is being billed as a 13-week "mystery event." It's basically Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None updated to the 21st century: a group of guests arrives on an island for a wedding, and soon the bodies start to pile up. Knowing the story has a finite structure makes me much more likely to watch it, because I know I won't have to wait more than a couple of months for the answers.

I think the approach to advertising and sponsorship needs to change as well. People have been skipping commercials since VCRs came into common use 20-some years ago to record programs to watch later. You can even program a button on your TiVo remote to skip ahead 30 seconds each time you push it. The networks' response to this is to try to develop ads that show up on top of the program being fast-forwarded and that cannot be avoided or turned off. This is exactly the wrong thing to do, as it's likely to alienate viewers further. Another network response, stepped-up product placement, can be even more bothersome, as arguably more viewers have experienced it than have a mandatory fast-forward ad. Personally I hate product placement, mainly because it always feels phony and it breaks the suspension of disbelief.

Fox is experimenting this season with two shows, Fringe and Dollhouse, that have shorter "pods" (the network term for commercial breaks). When the show goes to commercial, the screen says "(show name) will be back in 60 (or 90) seconds." Two or three commercials air, and then it's back to the action. Even if you use a DVR, this is more palatable because there's the added benefit that you get more show, about seven or eight minutes' more program than on a typical one-hour show. Naturally, FOX is charging more for the ads in these shows; they are telling their advertisers that viewers are more likely to remember ads when there are only two or three in a pod. Who knows if that's true, but I suppose it could be; more importantly, I give them credit for being willing to try a different approach.

Another related idea that I think deserves some consideration is to revisit the concept of single-advertiser sponsorships of programs, like in the 1950s. Some of the NBNs have used such sponsorships to present commercial-free season premieres of anticipated shows. I think this works best when it's presented as a sort of badge of prestige, i.e. only the better-quality programs are deserving of such an arrangement. I'm in favor of this sort of sponsorship, as long as the sponsor doesn't get any undue control of program content.

Either the threshold of expectations must be lowered, fundamental ideas about how to program need to be altered, or the Big Four should just stop bothering with new shows, because they appear to be unwilling to give them a chance to develop an audience. Ironically, ABC (the network I was directing my initial anger at) seems to have more new shows on tap for this spring than any other network, but I doubt I'm going to watch any of them.

Jingle Mind Control

I'm feeling oddly drawn to that strange song in the McDonald's Filet-O-Fish commercial. It's irrational, I know, but I kind of like it. And I'm not alone; the traffic guy and the weather guy on NECN busted out singing it this morning. It's insidious...

Good Shows, Bad Networks, Part 3: Rebuilding the Beast

But wait, there's more... I could probably keep going like this for a week or so, but I want to pull back a bit and (at the risk of getting carried away) look at the bigger picture and, instead of just complaining, offer some ideas. If the broadcast networks hope to remain even slightly relevant in the future of TV, they need to examine how their competition is doing things, and how that compares to how they have been doing things for decades.

Many of the non-broadcast channels (i.e. anything that isn't ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, or CW) are producing top-quality programming, and not just pay channels like HBO and Showtime: FX, TNT, TBS, USA, SciFi, AMC, even ABC Family are following the path of the pay channels and are now in the original-programming game for real. They have reached a point where the quality, variety, and year-round scheduling of the shows they are producing represent a real threat to the hegemony of the old guard.

I don't feel any special allegiance to the traditional broadcast networks. It makes no difference to me what network a program airs on; if I like the show, I'm going to watch. In fact, NBNs (non-broadcast networks) understand that their audiences are inherently smaller due to their somewhat more limited availability, so they have lower expectations and are more likely to give promising shows the time needed to develop and flourish, in addition to having fewer restrictions on content. Many TV writers and producers now feel their ideas are better served by NBNs.

The "big four" networks are no longer quite as big as they used to be. (Merging the WB and UPN into the CW may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but it's never going to amount to more than an also-ran so I don't count it as one of them.) The majority of Americans have cable, satellite, or fiber coming into their homes, and many shows (though not all) can be watched online as well. In fact, if you really set your mind to it, and are willing to accept being a little behind on the watercooler talk, a Netflix subscription and a broadband internet connection can provide you with a happy, satisfying TV existence without watching TV on TV at all. That really scares the crap out of the networks.

The networks need to acknowledge that the television landscape has changed irrevocably over the past decade or so and, to appropriate a well-used phrase, ten million is the new 20 million (viewers). The days of a top-rated hit show consistently drawing 20, 22, 25 million viewers a week each week are long gone, simply because the television landscape is now far more fractured. The most popular scripted programs on broadcast TV are currently averaging around 18 mIllion viewers per week, and even that is more of the exception these days. (Even that singing show is down in the ratings this year.)

So, let's play armchair network exec: what to do? First of all, the notion of a season that is eight months long (roughly mid-September to mid-May) but only has 22 weeks of new, original programming is as dead as Chuckles the Clown and needs to be discarded. The corollary, that a season must be 22 episodes long, is also past retirement age.

Back in the 1970s, the three broadcast networks had what amounted to a captive audience, making it possible to sustain viewer interest over the course of an entire season, plus shows tended to produce more episodes in a given season, meaning fewer weeks when repeats were needed. Today there is plenty of programming available elsewhere, and NBNs offer fresh programming year-round, so broadcast networks dumping a stinking pile of juvenile, insulting reality shows on viewers each summer is not going remain tenable as any kind of long-term strategy.

For most of its seven-season run, The Shield aired its new episodes January through March or March through May. And when summer rolls around, I look forward to new seasons of The Closer, Burn Notice, Mad Men, and now Leverage, which just completed its first season on TNT and will begin its second season this summer. These are not deeply intellectual shows (well, you could make the argument that Mad Men is at least thought-provoking) but all of them have two things in common, besides being highly entertaining: they all air on NBNs, and their seasons range from 13 to 16 episodes, which tend to run uninterrupted.

But not always. USA started the "split season" a few years back with Monk, and now uses it on most of its original shows; Burn Notice (also on USA) and The Closer (on TNT) did the same thing this past season. Basically, the season starts in the summer and goes for X number of weeks, then picks up again in the winter for another batch of episodes that concludes the season. I'm not a fan of this approach, but it does have some merit. Even if the season is conceived to run this way, I think it breaks the momentum of the major story arcs. On the other hand, waiting nine months between the end of one season and the start of the next is worse, and this way TNT can remind viewers that "The Closer will be back in June," which is now less than three months away.

This Week in Awesome

Time for some fun... these are the three four most awesome (unrelated, but still fun) things I've seen this week:

4. Sneaking in just under the wire, this is not your everyday limo. (Jalopnik)

3. The uniforms for these pizzeria employees in San Francisco are the most brilliant bit of snark I've seen in ages. (Consumerist)

2. This TV station in Cincinnati has an interesting approach to morning traffic reports. Just click and you'll see, and be sure to watch all the way to the end (the clip is only two minutes long), when the anchor delivers a pretty good punch line of sorts. (The Soup Blog) This was going to be number one until I saw...

1. ...Jon Stewart rip CNBC about a dozen new assholes on Wednesday's Daily Show. This one runs eight and half minutes, but it's so glorious you have to watch it.

Good Shows, Bad Networks, Part 2: Vampires and Swingers

No, I'm not done griping about TV yet. On Wednesday I singled out ABC for its recent record of puzzling/annoying/stupid programming decisions, but ABC is certainly not the only network guilty of handling shows poorly.

CBS's vampire drama Moonlight started promisingly in the fall of 2007. It came back after the writers' strike and completed 16 episodes. CBS held off on a renewal announcement, and for a while things were looking hopeful, but then yoink! Was there closure to the story lines? I'm not sure, because at the time I wasn't watching, but SciFi is kindly running the whole season in order this winter, on Friday nights at 9 PM (not so coincidentally, its time slot when it was on CBS). It's no Buffy, but I'm liking the show (with the exception of the reporter character, who's really annoying) and wishing I'd watched it the first time around. My mother did, and although our TV tastes are considerably different, I should have listened to her on this one.

For a while there were whispers that another network would acquire rights to the show and produce new episodes. SciFi was most frequently mentioned, but nothing came of it. Once again, I find myself wishing a network had been willing to show enough respect for its fans to just let a show be. For one thing, Friday at 9 isn't exactly a super-competitive time slot these days. Since it's Friday, let's take a little detour over to the TV Guide web site and see what's playing tonight at 9, shall we? (Keep in mind the sort of folks who are likely to be at home on a Friday night.)

Our friends at ABC have two hours of 20/20, featuring Siegfried and Roy's reunion/farewell performance (well, um, there's really nothing I can add to that); on NBC there's a new episode of Friday Night Lights (the show has been critically lauded from the beginning, but I have never been able to muster an ounce of interest in watching it); Fox has Buffy/Angel/Firefly auteur Joss Whedon's new scifiish-actionish series Dollhouse, which is still sorting itself out (only three episodes have aired); CW has two hours of America's Next Top Model (zzzzzz....); and over on CBS, in Moonlight's old slot, is Flashpoint, a Canadian import about a critical-incident/hostage-rescue team that I've seen about five minutes of (it reminded me of the old show S.W.A.T. that was on briefly when I was a kid, but I guess it kind of matches up well in terms of potential audience with Numbers, which follows it at 10 PM).

I should also point out that Flashpoint was not the show CBS originally had in mind to fill this slot after canceling Moonlight. That distinction went to The Ex List, an Americanized version of an Israeli show about a woman who is told by a fortune teller that a man from her past, someone she has already dated, is her soul mate and future husband, and that she has one year to figure out which ex was the one or she will never find true love. CBS had high hopes for this one, looking to draw female viewers with complementary programming that would match up well with Ghost Whisperer, which led into it at 8 PM, but it lasted for only four episodes back in the fall before they pulled the plug and all the Moonlight fans went, "Dudes, you canceled our show for that? Lame."

Flashpoint was a summer show that CBS acquired (relatively) cheaply through a production partnership with a Canadian network. I don't know whether or not they expected it to become part of the regular-season schedule, but after The Ex List tanked CBS had a hole to fill. A lot of times a network will fill such spaces in its schedule with reruns of its other hit shows. (that's pretty much what's happening on all the broadcast networks on Saturday nights these days) and that's what CBS did for a short time. I imagine they were already thinking about bringing Flashpoint back, and just moved up its return so they could charge more for the ad time (ads in reruns are cheaper, and therefore bring a network less revenue).

Which brings me to Swingtown, another 2008 summer show and recent CBS casualty. I liked Swingtown, a serious, adult show about changing social and sexual attitudes in the mid-1970s, and I blame Flashpoint for Swingtown's cancellation. Both shows started around the same time last summer, Swingtown on Thursdays in the 10 PM slot after reruns of CSI, while Flashpoint was put on Fridays, borrowing the Numbers slot. But after a few weeks, Flashpoint was drawing much better ratings than Swingtown, which was expected to draw better numbers because CSI tends to repeat well and they figured people would just stick around for something that wasn't a repeat.

CBS then flipped the two shows' time slots--Flashpoint to Thursdays, Swingtown to Fridays--thereby pretty much guaranteeing Swingtown's ratings would get even worse, which of course they did. At least CBS aired all 13 produced episodes. Then, as with Moonlight, there were months of speculation as to whether the show would return, or perhaps might find a home on another network. Maybe its provocative themes scared off some viewers; maybe it belonged on a non-broadcast network where it wouldn't be subject to FCC rules and could explore those themes more provocatively.

In January, CBS officially announced that Swingtown would not be returning anywhere, though Bravo bought the rights to rerun the episodes. So CBS gets a show that draws decent ratings in the time slot, but it's about the most generic show imaginable. And even though I didn't need another reason not to watch Flashpoint, I got one anyway.

Good Shows, Bad Networks: Another One Bites the Dust

ABC has announced the (inevitable) cancellation of Life On Mars. It was one of the more intriguing TV show premises to come along (even if it was a copy of the British show of the same name), and I have definitely been enjoying it: a New York detective gets hit by a car in 2008 and wakes up in 1973, where he finds himself still in New York and still a detective. Good writing, great cast, and a nostalgic, authentic look to the show thanks to New York location shooting.

Supposedly the show's creators will be able to craft an ending to the show that hopefully will resolve Sam Tyler's time-travel mystery. Forgive me for being skeptical, but ABC hasn't had a good track record with canceled shows recently: Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone. And if you go back a couple of years, ABC also mistreated The Nine and, worse, allowed Invasion to run for a whole season that ended with multiple cliffhangers, then didn't renew it (which, now that I think about it, was certainly a foreshadowing of the current mess).

After their strike-shortened first seasons in the fall of 2007, ABC made a big deal about bringing back Pushing Daisies (which I loved) and Dirty Sexy Money (didn't watch it, but I know others enjoyed its juicy soapiness). Then both shows were yanked off the air a couple of months into this season, along with Eli Stone, which premiered last spring, found a modest audience, and was also renewed. Later ABC announced that all three of these shows had been canceled.

That was about three months ago, though in mid-January ABC did announce that the shows would return this summer to, in the charming parlance of the TV business, "burn off" their remaining episodes. Daisies creator Bryan Fuller, who has gone back to Heroes (where he worked during its first season) to try to resuscitate its recent lackluster performance, was quoted as saying that Daisies' major story lines, which will mostly still be unresolved by the end of the completed episodes, would eventually be concluded in a comic book.

A comic book? Wow, thanks Bryan. That's exactly what I was looking forward to. Look, I know ABC hasn't treated your show and the others the way it should have, but as much as I love Pushing Daisies, I have zero interest in tracking down a comic book. However, if you or the network were to make this comic available to read on the web, say via a Flash player, then I might make the effort to read the end of the story.

But Bryan Fuller isn't really the one to blame here, ABC is. Why go to the trouble of renewing these shows in the first place, only to then cut them off at the knees and then make things worse by mistreating the loyal fans looking for an ending? If a show really bombs and is canceled four or five episodes into its first season, that's one thing, but if a network allows a show a full season, it owes to viewers and producers alike the opportunity for closure, which simply means, if you're not going to invite 'em back, at least have the decency to make the decision known in enough time so the show can provide some answers to the viewers... which isn't going to happen with Pushing Daisies.

As I wrote in a comment in the Boston Globe's TV blog, "It's getting to the point where I will have to think twice about getting invested in a new show if it's going to air on ABC... Memo to ABC: Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives are already past their freshness dates, and eventually, people are going to get tired of the dancing and the nanny and the bachelors and bachelorettes. What will you do then?"

Winter Ain't Over

Yesterday turned out to be more of a snow day than I expected. I knew I would have to shovel us out before heading to work, so I emailed my boss Sunday night to say that I expected to be in the office by late morning. But I didn't finish shoveling until almost noon, and I probably wouldn't have made it to work until 1:30 or so. At that point it seemed not worth the trouble, so I ended up taking a personal day. I spent the rest of the afternoon watching stuff off the TiVo and generally doing nothing, which is what a snow day should be.

After it almost hit 60 last Friday, I wanted winter to be over as much as anyone else. I wanted to believe it was over, but I knew it wasn't. On February 11th I said in an email to a friend, "I'm sure we're going to get at least one more snow storm." Because that's just how things go around here. I'm not ready to put away the shovels yet.

Yesterday's storm left about nine inches at our house, putting us somewhere north of five feet so far this winter, which doesn't come close to comparing with the winter of 1995-96, when we got a total of over eight feet of snow through the entire winter. At least this time the snow had a chance to melt before we got hit again, though in our back yard and on the curbs in front of the house, it just finished doing so on Friday, just in time to start over again.

Back in '96 on our little dead-end street in Somerville, we literally ran out of places to put the snow because it just kept coming, storm after storm, until we ended up throwing some of it over the fence into the back yard of a house on an adjacent street that backed up against our place. Those neighbors weren't too happy about that, which was kind of ridiculous given the circumstances. And they weren't exactly ideal neighbors themselves; these were the same people that would do yard work starting at around 7:30 AM on Saturdays in the summer, inevitably waking us up with either their constant bickering or the growl of their lawn mower.

Anyway, it's supposed to get up into the 40s by Saturday, so maybe this batch of snow will melt a little quicker. The Mrs. and I are heading to New York for a few days on the 13th, and we're really hoping the weather isn't sucky. We went in March back in 2002, and aside from being cold it was all right. Another storm would seriously spoil the fun.