A Lunch-Inspired Gripe

For lunch, I usually go to the cafeteria in the hospital next to my office and make a salad at the salad bar. The salad bar can be accessed on two sides, but a lot of people don't seem to realize that. I prefer going on the "back" side because it's less used, and I like to take my time so I'm less likely to be holding up the next person. I try to be considerate in that way, but not many others do.

But if I go too late, the back side gets blocked off so the staff can replenish the tasty veggies, and I have to use the front side, where I am inevitably hindered by the slow, clueless people making salads ahead of me. I just stood behind a woman who spent two solid minutes picking through the lettuce and carefully choosing pieces for her salad. It's iceberg lettuce—how much variation did she really think there was? (Besides which, iceberg has basically no nutritional value whatsoever, but that's another topic.)

If I ever lose it and start attacking people, I hope some editor has the presence of mind to call me the Salad Shooter...