09 January 2012

Annals of the Gross and Exceedingly Embarrassing

After reading this lovely entry earlier today on Universal Hub (warning: don't click if you are eating or are generally sensitive to gross stuff), it reminded me (what does that say about me, btw?) of one of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me.

(Come to think of it, the above warning more or less applies to the following as well...)

Way back more than 20 years ago, I lived in Jamaica Plain for a year. One day I was heading home on the 39 bus. It was winter, and I had a cold. I was sitting near the back, in one of the seats that faces sideways. The bus was fairly crowded, so there were people sitting in all the seats directly across from me.

A cough sneaked up on me, and before I could get my hand up to cover my mouth, I accidentally expectorated onto the shoe of the person sitting across from me. The trajectory was perfect; I could not have accomplished such a feat of bodily rebellion if I was trying, but of course these sorts of things tend to happen beyond our control.

Naturally I was mortified, and apologized profusely, but the guy just glared at me, unwilling to accept the idea that this had happened by accident. And also naturally, everyone else sitting or standing nearby witnessed it. Even though it was a few stops before my stop, I got off the bus immediately out of colossal embarrassment. I briefly considered packing up and moving out of the area that very weekend, in order to avoid the possibility of encountering any of those people on a 39 bus again, but I didn't have anywhere else to go at the time, and ended up staying another seven or eight months.

No comments: